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The Opposite of Schadenfreude
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The Opposite of Schadenfreude

Savor the joy of others. It is abundant and free and it will lift your spirits and boost your wellbeing even as you add positive energy to the world.

Philip Pearlman
Oct 26, 2022
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The Opposite of Schadenfreude
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Savor the joy of others. It is abundant and free and it will lift your spirits and boost your wellbeing even as you add positive energy to the world.

***

I see a lot of people out there finding pleasure in the misfortune of others these days.

This is called schadenfreude as I’m sure most reading this are already aware.

Schadenfreude disappoints me when I observe it because every episode adds negative energy to the world.

It is also harmful to the individual experiencing it as it contributes to his own negative energy and detracts from his relationships and wellbeing more generally.

Research associates schadenfreude with low self-esteem, sociopathy, narcissism, and the like.

I think about it in terms of an ailing self or wounded spirit.

Regardless, when we enjoy another’s misfortune, it detracts from our own quality of life even if we perceive it pleasurably in that moment.

Heroin might also bring momentary pleasure while causing profound harm.

The Opposite of Schadenfreude

There is no word in English that I am aware of that means the opposite of schadenfreude.

But there is a Pali word, from Sanskrit, that captures the essence.

Mudita is translated roughly as sympathetic joy or the pleasure we experience from the good fortune of others.

This is what it looks like written in Pali:

मुदिता

In Buddhism, Mudita is one of the Four Immeasurables or central paths to enlightenment along with loving-kindness, compassion, and equanimity.

I’m not sure I even know what enlightenment means much less finding a path towards attaining it. But I do know what it’s like to find a path to better health and how that feels.

And I also know that physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing are inextricably woven. 

Lift one and the others can rise too.

Finding joy in the good fortune of others feels great, improves our spiritual and emotional wellbeing, and can help foster other health gains from the energy we project to improved self-regard to greater connectedness with others and the world around us.

There is immeasurable joy in the world and so we can tap into this well.

Practicing Mudita

Genuine joy for the good fortune of others makes us feel great and fosters wellness.

Plus, there’s a word for it! 😉

We can practice at it too.

Seeking Joy

Exuberance abounds, so we can keep an eye out for it and take special note when we see it. 

Don’t be fooled by the surge in dour headlines and sour tweets. Those draw attention, but they are a sham. There is joy everywhere if we are looking for it.

Quick Caveat

Speaking of tweets, one quick caveat. Social media can be poisonous. There is a lot of self-presentation and schadenfreude posing as Mudita. Not always, but beware. Likes and Congrats! @replies might not really count.

Take Note

Chances are we are already experiencing Mudita, but maybe it’s more limited.

I think about my kids. When they have something that goes right and they are jubilant I am too. Maybe it’s an athletic performance or a good score on a test.

These are the easy ones.

Reach Out

My good friend Chandler went on a biking trip in Utah and sent me photos. He looked exuberant.

It felt great to see Chandler so happy and so I called him to hear more about the trip and to savor some of the joy from his experiences along with him.

My homeboy Chandler biking in Utah and joyous.

I let him know how amazing the photos he sent were, that I was happy to hear about the trip, and I shared in his joy.

Which leads me to a wonderful serendipity writing this post and incorporating my pal Chandler into it. 

It was discussions with him about the positive effects of Mudita, months ago, that fostered the idea for this post after he sent me the photo album of his recent trip.

What a world.

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The Opposite of Schadenfreude
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18 Comments
Krysten Merriman
Oct 31, 2022Liked by Philip Pearlman

I think the closest English word is 'compersion'.

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Rich
Oct 26, 2022Liked by Philip Pearlman

Your newsletter and your tweets embody this spirit and I am grateful to you for it because that has made me more mindful about how I relate to others. Thank you.

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